By Birgitte Coste
What is an identity? Many people think that having an identity is desirable. Is is really? …
We come into the world naked in every way – without clothes, without beliefs, without identity. Yet, very early on, we learn that the easiest way to exist is to fit in.
We quickly learn to do what it takes to become part of the group we are in. We realize that if we are the ‘same’ as what we relate to, we are more easily accepted. In other words, we form an identity … or even several identities.
- When we go to work, we might put on the corporate jacket.
- When we’re at a family dinner, we may wear the pleaser’s hat.
- When we hang out with friends, we might grab a politically incorrect rebel cigarette.
- And so on.
Often, we end up wearing so many strange pieces of ‘clothing’ and accessories that we disappear entirely … and quite often we actually FORGET that we’re even wearing all that clothing. We believe the clothes are us. We believe the clothes are our identity. And depending on how much ‘clothing’ we’re wearing – how far removed we are from ‘ourselves’ – we can experience anything from mild discomfort to a full-blown identity crisis.
When we feel this, it’s about going in the opposite direction:
First, we need to identify the clothing, so we can separate ourselves from it. Then, it’s about letting it go. Simply making a decision and letting the garment fall to the ground. (Though it can be easier said than done).
BUT when we’ve let go of everything that isn’t us, only ‘that-which-is’ remains. And that can be frightening, because we might think it is nothing.
But it’s quite the opposite. It’s everything, in its purest form. The essence. OURSELVES. The place where we function at our best, where there is peace, love, and joy!
So what is an identity? Or better, what is a ‘real’ identity?
The answer: that which is left when we have let go of everything we possibly can.
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