• For women, but men can look, too …
• Not satisfied with your ‘female flower’?
• Considering vaginal plastic surgery to get ‘the perfect
vagina’?
• Get some self improvement tips on ‘designer vaginas’ …
• … and a guy’s very honest perspective on vaginaplasty and
labioplasty (labial surgery / female genital cosmetic surgery)
Get Ready for
Vaginal Self Improvement Tips!
This is one of those self improvement articles that may disturb
some folks. It is about vaginas. Specifically it concerns
vaginal plastic surgery to get the perfect vagina. It has come
to my attention that some women desire that. They want to be the
proud owner of The Perfect Pussy, or as colloquial speech would
have it, The Perfect Cunt.
This article falls under a Self Improvement Tips heading, more
or less, so we’ll be examining certain aspects to do with the
‘why’ of female genital cosmetic surgery and, of course,
investigating what is perhaps the most interesting question
here: In the light of personal development is this practice
(cosmetic vagina plastic surgery) a good idea or not?
Vaginal Plastic Surgery and
the Perfect Vagina: Why?
So. WHY do women want vaginal plastic surgery of the cosmetic
variety?
Apart from the (very) few cases where a woman has labia (pussy
lips) so big that they actually, physically get in the way and
hurt when they, say, ride a horse or a bicycle, there are two
main reasons, I think: the women’s self concept and their
concept of men.
Well. Being a personal development coach I know a thing or two
about people’s
self concept. And being a man, and one who is not just a
coach but one who also has some surprisingly honest male
friends, I know a lot about what goes on inside a man. I even
have a page coming up that I call Understanding Men [LINK
upcoming].
So, then. Some women – perhaps even you included – would like to
have ‘the perfect vagina’. And some of those women (again, that
may or may not include you) are actually willing to go through
expensive and unpleasant vaginal plastic surgery to get
something that may or may not be ‘it’.
One wonders why these women would subject their most tender body
parts to such scalpel-based treatment? As is often the case the
most likely answer is also the simplest one. Well, apart from
something very important to do with women’s insecurities and
their self concept (which we’ll get to) my guess about the
‘why?’ of vaginal plastic surgery would be this: Men.
Women’s Self Concept: Vaginal Insecurities
It is almost, but (evidently) not quite needless to say that
when a woman goes looking for cosmetic vaginal plastic surgery
for non-medical reasons the most basic and most important reason
has to do with how she sees herself, her
self concept. Many women have a truckload of insecurities,
one of which has to do with their genitalia. (Yep, a number of
men have those, too, but theirs tend to be more one-dimensional
– mostly it’s a question of size: Is my Willy big enough?).
With women the insecurities appear to be more complex. Some want
to be bigger ‘here’ and smaller ‘there’ and for some it
is the other way around, but the reasons remain the same:
They are not satisfied. They think what they have is not what
they SHOULD have. They are at odds with reality … which is
never a nice thing to be – and something for which there is only
one really effective cure: To get OUT OF (let
go of) their
personal reality and get INTO
absolute reality – something that can also be described with
a few simple words that we all understand: Unconditional
acceptance of what is.
If you accept what is (including the way your lady flower looks)
the need for cosmetic vaginal plastic surgery (and any other
kind of cosmetic surgery as well) disappears. And here are a few
other nice things about that: You can do it all by yourself, it
doesn’t hurt, and it costs nothing.
Women’s Concept of Men’s Concept of Women (Confused?)
This interesting headline points to a kind of ‘disease’ that
runs rampant in most of today’s modern societies: Trying to look
and be the way you THINK and IMAGINE other people want you to
look and be – a.k.a. not being inside yourself but attempting to
be inside other people instead.
The basis for this is usually a desperate perceived need [link
upcoming] to ‘fit in’. In other words, we’re back to feeling
accepted – or not. The same solution, of course, applies: Accept
yourself first and then others will automatically accept you –
just the way you are.
But, as with so many other things we go about it all backwards.
We attempt to get other people to accept us first, and then we
think that we will accept ourselves if only they do. In this
backwards and doomed project we invariably try to second guess
other people: ‘what and how must I be in order to be accepted?’
So. What in women’s concept of men can motivate a woman to want
to go for designer vaginas? Well, that, of course, is all about
how women think that men see them. A pussy that looks like
‘this’ is supposed to be ‘pretty’ and a pussy that looks like
‘that’ is supposed to be ‘not pretty’. At least that is what
many women think that men think. And those women – they couldn’t
be more wrong.
Who Am I to Talk? Just Another Vagina Expert … 🙂
I am a man myself and I know quite a bit about how I and other
men think. Okay, I don’t have a vagina myself. (Though I do
think it would be great if I did – as long as it didn’t preclude
me having my current male equipment as well). So, I may not have
my own vagina, but I sure appreciate other people’s vaginas.
They, and more specifically the women they are a part of, have
given me such joy over the years.
Yes, I am a lover of women, and a vagina lover, too. This makes
me biased, I’m sure. It also makes me something of an expert in
the field. Both in the field of women (as far as a man can be an
expert in that (see for yourself at
Understanding Women) and in the field of women’s private
parts. How about that – perhaps I should put it on my business
card … I’ll leave it up to your imagination what the text
might be.
Aaanyway, my claim is that loving something is the best way to
become an expert in it, whatever it is. As you may know – or can
at least see from the name of this website – for me the BIG
thing for years and years has been personal development (and
spirituality). But the fair sex and sex in general (see e.g. the
page
Making Love) are things right up there at the top, too.
The Perfect Vagina: Individual, Racial and Cultural
Differences
In any case the answer to why most of the women who go for
female genital cosmetic surgery do it is this: They are sure
that designer vaginas are prettier than what nature has blessed
them with. Very often because their inner pussy lips (inner
labia a.k.a. labia minora) stick out beyond their outer pussy
lips (outer labia a.k.a. labia majora).
Maybe what they think is that it doesn’t look ‘neat and tidy’ or
even ‘normal’ (whatever that is supposed to mean). Probably what
they think is that other people, most notably men, don’t like
that.
If you’ll excuse my language, all of that is a load of crap!
First off, it is important to note that inner labia that
protrude beyond the outer labia are very common and totally
normal in all races of women. Their lady flower is SUPPOSED to
look like that!
Three Kinds of Naturally Perfect Vaginas
Some folks who make a living from websites that display women’s
private parts have even come up with a terminology that
describes what they see as the three different kinds of lady
flower (as seen from the front when the lady is standing up):
– The Puffy Peach (the inner labia are completely hidden by the
outer labia, producing a closed-up effect that resembles the
‘line’ in a peach)
– The Tasty Taco (the inner labia are partly visible outside the
outer labia, producing a visual effect somewhat reminiscent of a
taco shell with tasty food inside it)
– The Charming Cherry (the inner labia protrude very visibly
beyond the outer labia, hanging down in a way that makes the
totality somewhat resemble a stalk & cherry)
Don’t you just love the mental imagery? 🙂
Apparently the Tasty Taco is the most common one, making the
other two types particularly sought after by connoisseurs. (Most
men, however, like all three kinds. In fact, most men like
whatever kind the woman they are with happens to have!)
Also, there are differences between the different human races.
When it comes to height, skin color and facial features we all
know this, but it is also true for the female genitals. No
matter what color your skin is the color of your female
genitalia may vary greatly, and this is even more true for their
shape and size. For example there are some ethnic groups in
Africa (e.g. the Khoisan, Khoekhoe, Sho, Barwa, Kung, Khwe,
often collectively called
the San)
where it is close to universal that the labia minora produde
approx. 4 cm (1.6 inches) beyond the outer labia.
The Labia Size of Naturally Perfect Vaginas
According to acclaimed American obstetrician, gynecologist,
research scientist, maternal health educator and artist
Robert Latou Dickinson (1861-1950) the ‘normal’ size range
of one American female labia minora (inner pussy lip) is from 0+
cm / inches to 6+ cm (2 1/3+ inches) – equaling up to 12+ cm
(4.7+ inches) from tip to tip for both labia minora when spread
open; and he has also reported a size of 7.5 cm (3 inches) –
equaling a spread-open size up to 15 cm (5.9 inches) from tip to
tip.
This is without any kind of tension applied. When ‘moderate
tension’ was applied to the latter lady bits they achieved a
‘wing span’ of 23 cm (9 inches) tip to tip.
(Note: If the approx. 3.000 women that Robert L. Dickinson
measured included African American women or not is unknown).
Of course, as the mere existence of vaginal plastic surgery to
get ‘the perfect vagina’ reminds us, not everybody is content
with what nature has provided. Both the men and the women of
some African tribes (e.g. the Venda tribe in southern Africa and
the Benin tribe in western Africa) find large labia very
attractive (as do many Western men) and the females of these
tribes are not content with what Nature has provided but do much
to artificially
enlarge
their natural labia.
Therefore, apparently, among these African tribes a hanging
length of 15 cm (5.9 inches) of the labia minora is not
uncommon, and a hanging length of 17.8 cm (7 inches) has been
recorded – giving the ladies a whopping no-tension tip-to-tip
‘wing span’ of 35.6 cm (14 inches) when spread open. (This must
be the reverse version of Western vaginal plastic surgery).
In other words: As far as the female flower is concerned
there is PLENTY of room for variation! So please know that no
matter what your vagina looks like, it looks fine!
Vaginal Plastic Surgery to Look Pretty? Please Think Again
So, back to vaginal plastic surgery to get the perfect vagina,
also known as producing designer vaginas, also known as cosmetic
labial surgery a.k.a. female genital cosmetic surgery a.k.a.
cosmetogynecology a.k.a. vaginoplasty a.k.a. vaginaplasty a.k.a.
labioplasty a.k.a. labiaplasty. Sometimes even called
vulvovaginal aesthetic surgery or just vaginal aesthetic surgery
for ‘short’.
If you are reading this you may be one of the growing number of
women considering vaginal plastic surgery. Here’s my best piece
of advice to you regarding that:
If your labia are so big they cause you pain every time you sit
down or ride a bicycle, or there is some other physical/medical
reason for you to want labioplasty – fine, go ahead book your
appointment, get your doctor’s agreement, pay the money and then
get your vaginal plastic surgery.
BUT if you want vaginal plastic surgery (labial surgery) in
order to look pretty, don’t go there. Please. Or at least
consider not going there. Or, at the very least, read what I
have to say here first.
Let me just give you three real quick but very good reasons why
you may want to reconsider having vaginal plastic surgery.
Opinion about Designer Vaginas: A Waste of Money, Time and
Pain
First off, it is highly likely that it is a
waste of time, pain and money (you’ll easily be paying something
like $3000 to $6000).
As for the bit about the pain, well, labioplasty just might
damage some very important nerves … if you want, you can check
out this article at the Free Library:
Fear Over Designer Vaginas. You might also think about it
like this: You probably have a scar somewhere on your body – try
testing how sensitive to touch the scar is when compared to the
area next to the scar. Odds are the scar tissue is less
sensitive than the regular tissue. Do you really want scar
tissue in your lady parts?
Oh, and to see why I think you’d be wasting your hard earned
cash, please read on.
Secondly, the labioplasty is not likely to
actually SOLVE anything for you – for that you need to check and
work on
your self concept (how you see yourself,
what you identify with) and
your self esteem (your sense of self worth). If you can
learn to relax your
ego, or even to some extent to stop identifying yourself
with it (i.e. stop believing that you are your ego and that your
ego is you), then odds are that you will make huge strides in
these areas and if you do … you will find that this was what
you really needed in the first place, and vaginal plastic
surgery in an attempt to artificially create the perfect vagina
has nothing to do with, well, anything.
Thirdly, you will be making a lot of guys like
me quite sad. You may think you’re making the guys happy, but
really, you’re not. Let me get deeper into this last reason
and maybe, just maybe, kill off some of the fear based ideas you
have about how men see you and your lady flower.
How Men See Women – and Their Lovely Lady Parts
There are a lot of guys out there who really like what nature
has provided you women with between your legs. Seriously. We do.
We like to look at it, sniff it, play with it, kiss it, lick it
and generally have a wonderful time with it. Just the way it is.
And no, it doesn’t matter how many children you have given birth
to vaginally, we still like what you’ve got. Why?
Because it is YOU.
And because we love life the way life is.
Quite a lot of us even prefer to look at (and play with) women
who have given birth vaginally, because we feel that the changes
that may have occurred make the vagina even more of a beautiful
flower.
So whatever life has seen fit to bless you with in terms of
labia and the rest of your reproductive equipment, we love it
just the way it is.
That is the way love looks at you, you know.
Love doesn’t want you to pay $5000 to make you look more boring
‘down there’. Many of us men (the majority, I’m sure) really
like the fact that your pussy is unique – totally one of a kind.
It just makes us love it – and you – all the more.
And, seeing as how most men never really grow up, well, we do
like to have something to play with, too. Please don’t let some
surgeon take away our toys! But that’s secondary. The MOST
important thing of all is this:
you already have it.
Just the way it is.
No need for labioplasty, vaginaplasty, vaginal plastic surgery,
cosmetic labial surgery, female genital cosmetic surgery, a
designer vagina or what ever you want to call it. No need at
all.
Vaginal Plastic Surgery – What You Really Need
What there MIGHT be a need of, however, is acceptance. That is,
a need for you to accept your lady parts. Have you ever looked
at them in a mirror? I mean REALLY looked at them? For a long
time – long enough for your self judgment to wane a bit?
And, yes, maybe even looked at your vagina in a mirror while you
caressed it with a finger you’ve just wet in your mouth, or a
finger dipped in oil? Not for the sake of masturbation (though
that may turn out to be the end result) but for the sake of
acceptance and appreciation?
Do you APPRECIATE your pussy? Honestly? If you are seriously
thinking about putting it under the knife in vaginal plastic
surgery then I sincerely doubt it. So maybe that’s a good place
to start. The two A’s:
Acceptance and Appreciation.
In time you might even reach the third A, which is the typical
male reaction to the sight of your lady parts:
Admiration.
This is all about you and your relationship with your own body.
Or, perhaps, the relationship that you don’t have. If you really
considered your labia to be an integral part of yourself, would
you want to cut them off?
Being a coach I have actually encountered and worked with my
share of women who were not satisfied with their face, their
hair, their breasts, their hips, their tummy, their bottom or
their private parts (yes, certainly, that too!).
When I have asked them why, they have invariably given me the
answer that they just want to look pretty. Or maybe they just
want to look ‘normal’, whatever that is, and they just don’t
consider whatever part(s) of themselves they want put under the
knife ‘normal’ enough, or pretty enough.
But why, then do they want to look more ‘normal’ or more
‘pretty’? Well, because of men. Very nearly all the
(heterosexual) women I have talked to who wanted some sort of
cosmetic plastic surgery really wanted to look normal or pretty
because of men. This includes the ones who want vaginal plastic
surgery to come closer to what they think is ‘the perfect
vagina’.
“Getting Rid of My Meat Curtains So My Lovers Will Like Me
Better”
Yep, I have even worked with women who were embarrassed to take
off their clothes in front of their lovers because of the size
of their labia – one even talked about “getting rid of my meat
curtains so my lovers will like me better”. Well, girls, I have
got news for you:
Men accept, appreciate and admire your vagina. Just the way it
is. We really do!
Yes, yes, I know that not ALL men will accept, appreciate and
admire your pussy. But most will. Trust me! Big or small labia,
small or big clitoris, hair or no hair, young or old, it doesn’t
matter: Most men ADORE the female genitalia, just the way they
are!
Why else do you think men spend hours and hours (and hours!)
online looking at them?
Some are even so fascinated they develop an internet porn
addiction [LINK upcoming]. But that’s another matter.
The fact remains that we LOVE what you’ve got – no matter what
you’ve got. When it comes to the question ‘designer vaginas or
not’ that’s one of the most important self improvement tips I
can give you.
Men Who Hurt Inside May Hurt You, Too
What I just said is true for the vast majority of men. Then
there are the minorities. I need to speak to you about the few
men who are not like that so that you may know a bit about what
you are dealing with should you ever come across such a man.
The world being what it is, it stands to reason that
occasionally you will meet (or you have already met) a man who
is all closed up and twisted inside. He might have been brought
up to hate and despise a lot of things, or to follow horrible
and bodily mutilating practices, or he may have been traumatized
some other way. Either way, he may be contracted, broken and
hurting inside.
Such a man may have a negative reaction to … well, anything:
music, literature, opinions, skin color, the sight of a naked
woman or the sight of a naked woman’s genitalia.
You already know this, but please allow me to remind you: One
scared, confused and hurting man’s negative reaction is NOT
because you have the wrong skin color, or the wrong gender, or
because your lady parts are in any way wrong or ugly.
The poor man is simply closed off from life itself, at least in
some areas, and feels terrible because of that. He is hurting,
and he may inadvertently (or deliberately) be hurting other
people around him. You too, perhaps. Do not make the mistake to
think that such a man is representative of all men everywhere.
Of course you will also find men who just a little bit broken,
traumatized and closed off. Men who seem pretty normal in most
ways but who have nevertheless been hurt; perhaps by being fed
all kinds of weird and more or less life denying beliefs. There
is no way to tell what strange beliefs may lurk in other people,
be they male or female, and such bizarre beliefs may color their
views and reactions in a life denying fashion. Still, they
remain the minority, by far.
Finally, there are the men who are simply not aware, not really
conscious (of themselves, or you or of life in general). They
are asleep, so to speak, even if they are walking, talking,
going to work … and making love to you. Now, most of these men
will still have a positive reaction you your lady parts, even in
their ‘sleep’, and so they will not want you to attempt vaginal
plastic surgery to get ‘the perfect vagina’. They will simply
react the way the vast majority of men do and like what you’ve
got, no matter what you’ve got.
However, some of the men who are not really conscious of
anything much, some of those guys who are truly ‘heard animals’
will tend to follow the pattern of thinking ‘average = beauty’.
To me, and probably to most other men, average does not equal
real beauty (it is more likely to equal ‘dull’), and this …
‘does average = beauty?’ thing is in fact a fascinating subject
I intend explore further soon [LINK upcoming], perhaps directly
under the heading Self Improvement Tips, but for now let’s just
check out the concept really, really fast.
If you have ever given any real attention to what most
professional models actually look like, you will have noticed
this: They don’t look like anything much. At the risk of
insulting some highly paid models they don’t even look like
anyone much. They just don’t have all that many distinguishing
features.
This, in fact, is why they can work as models and earn a lot of
money doing so: They look average.
Average = ‘Pretty’?
Supermodels do not look ‘average’ in the way most people usually
use the word, but average in the true sense of the word: Nothing
about a highly paid model is really big; noting is really small;
nothing is REALLY noteworthy in any way at all. Everything is in
fact incredibly average.
Now, you may pull up a few exceptions to this rule, of course.
Michelle Pfeiffer, for instance, who is today a highly paid
actress, used to be a highly paid model, and she DOES in fact
have some distinguishing features that are not average. But you
know as well as I do that Michelle is the exception rather than
the rule.
The rule is that to be ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’ a woman must in
fact be as truly average as possible. (It has even been proven
scientifically, but I’m not going to go into that here).
Well, surprise, surprise, the same thing goes for your lady
parts. Vaginal plastic surgery to get you ‘the perfect vagina’
does not make your pussy ‘prettier’ or ‘more beautiful’ –
vaginaplasty simply makes your lady parts more AVERAGE. And
average is BORING. If you ask me.
If you don’t believe me, you can check out a couple the websites
of plastic surgeons that display ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures
of cosmetic labial surgery (labioplasty and vaginoplasty). For
example here’s one (warning, real vaginas on display there):
cosmetic
labial surgery photos – and there’s another vaginal surgery
gallery here: labiaplasty
photos.
NO OFFENCE to the women who paid for their surgery in pain and
cash, but when I look at all the ‘before’ vaginal plastic
surgery photos of vaginas I find that I like them. Every single
one of them. The majority of the ‘after’ labiaplasty photos, on
the other hand, display pussies that look kind of stunted (just
a little bit ‘off’ somehow) and very … you know … average
and therefore just a tad boring. Sorry, girls.
Now, if you’re one of the women who have undergone female
genital cosmetic surgery to become more average ‘down there’ and
this pleases you – great. More power to you!
I am just advocating that you girls who think you want the
perfect pussy ‘give it another think’ that’s all. Who knows,
maybe you DON’T want to look totally average. Maybe you like
being unique.
However, if you DO decide you want ‘the average vagina’ I do
believe the most men will not change their basic opinion of your
vagina, because REGARDLESS of how it looks most men WILL
look at your pussy with:
Acceptance, Appreciation and Admiration.
Plus a single L-word as well.
Yep, you’ve guessed it:
Love.
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