• Discover what making love has to do with
personal development!
• See 5 things that make this particular activity so
important to us
• Learn how to
lose your inhibitions
• Find out how to distinguish between different kinds of
intimacy
• Subjects range from
first time love making …
• … to beginners tantra to advanced tantra techniques
• Improve your love making and simultaneously get more
pleasure
• Read about techniques, positions, humor & sex,
funny sex quotes plus case stories
So Important
and Yet So Repressed
Making love or having sex is how we keep the human race going
(at least until we start cloning and procreating in other, more
scientific (and boring) ways. It's also how we seal the bond
between us when we are love partners. And it's one of the basic
human needs. And it's a very important way to have fun. And it's
a powerful tool in personal development. And, and, and …
Suffice it to say that this wonderful activity has many, many
applications – and implications.
For centuries, perhaps even millennia people in power
have sought to control human sexuality – which is logical given
how much energy and drive is inherent in our sexuality.
Unhealthy repression, lots of problems and unnecessary
inhibitions are the result. Things we now have to deal with.
Some People May Want to Stop Reading Now
This site has its focus on helping you learn new things, solve
your problems and achieve your goals, and that is true for the
subject of making love / sex, too. Personally I don't really
have a lot of inhibitions in that area, so I'll just say it like
I see it. So, if you have inhibitions regarding reading about
sex and you want to keep them, this page is probably not for you
– in that case you might do yourself a favour and stop reading
now. Consider yourself warned.
What Is Making Love?
Is
there a difference between sex and making love? The way I see
it, yes. Making love often includes sex, whereas sex doesn't
necessarily include making love. According to the dictionary sex
is a physical activity, i.e. sexual intercourse or some other
physical activity directly aimed at satisfying the sexual need.
This is a useful definition. Making love, on the other hand, is
much more than that.For a brief discussion of the difference
between the two, with practical examples, please read the page
Sex and Lovemaking.
What Makes Love Making and Sex so Important?
Well, here are five good reasons:
(1)Making love and sex is both pleasurable, fun and
personally developing. When two people share a positive,
entertaining and giving experience like that, it creates a bond
between them.
(2)The sexual drive is actually connected to the most
powerful of the seven basic human
needs: the need for survival. The continuation of our
species depends on it.
(3)Making love is an expression of love, and sex can be
the same way. Generally speaking this appears to be more true
for men and women in whom the feminine energy is dominant. But
it is, of course, true for everybody. And when it comes right
down to it, very few things in life are more important than
love.
(4)Sexual intercourse (coitus) can lead to
pregnancy and thus can lead not only a profound change in a
person's life but also to 15-20 years of actual responsibility
and a lifetime of perceived responsibility.
(5)Sexual intercourse (coitus) creates a
strong link or connection between two people. This link is much
more powerful than the link created by words, kisses, hugs or
even sexual petting. We cannot really explain the nature of this
link, but we all clearly sense it.
That's just 5 reasons why making love and sex is so important to
us, and there are surely many more.
Those many reasons are why almost EVERYBODY will attempt to
control or regulate your love life and your sex life: The state,
culture and norms, organized religion, your parents, the rest of
your family, your friends, and particularly your love partner
(see also
jealousy).
All that, however, doesn't change the fact that your love life
is YOURS and YOU are the one in charge of it!
Personal Development through Love Making
Making love and sex actually has a lot to do with personal
development.
In fact, there is a teaching which goes back thousands of years
that emphasizes love making and sex as one of the primary
methods for personal and spiritual development – it's called
tantra.
Just to let you know where I myself stand, I haven't trained in
tantra; in fact I only recently learned that my own path of
development actually reflects certain versions of tantra. And
that what I have been doing and the incredible experiences I
have been having in my own sex life are actually described in
tantric teachings. Imagine my surprise and delight!
Anyway. I really don't care what you call it, as long as it
works. And I tell you: Using love making as a basis for personal
and spiritual development works!
Your Two 'Lives' Reflect Each Other
The way I see it, our sex life is pretty much a replica of the
rest of our life – and vice versa: the way we live our life is
closely reflected in our sex life.
Do you live a very conventional life, closely following the
social norms? Maybe even a life that some people might describe
as slightly boring? Then your sex life is likely to be like
that, too.
Are you curious, adventurous and uninhibited in your love
making? Then you probably behave more or less the same way in
the rest of your life, too.
The point is this: Your 'big' life can teach you many things
about your sex life – and your sex life can teach you many
things about your 'big' life.
The principles that work really well in love making, work
equally well in the rest of your life.
And the principles the work well in your life – say,
the relationship keys – work equally well when applied to
love making and sex.
First Time Love Making
Ah, the first time! So much expectation is put into it, and
unfortunately, so little pleasure is had.
Most people actually have a very disappointing experience of
their first sexual intercourse (coitus). It's stressful, scary,
awkward and sometimes even messy. So, then, here's some advice
about how to make the experience of first time love making
better for yourself and your partner: Just visit the page
First Time LoveMaking
Love Making Techniques
Technique isn't quite as important you may think, but in order
for you and your love partner to have a satisfying sexual love
life you both need to acquire a certain level of skill. The very
best way to get that is by trial and error. Please note those
two words, because they're BOTH important: TRIAL and ERROR. You
need them both!
In other words: You need to try your hand at love making and
sex, you need to play with it and have lots of fun. Apart from
having a partner to do this with the primary requirements are
actually openness, acceptance and a playful attitude. If you
like, you can read more about all this on the page
Love Making Techniques.
How to Give a Female an Orgasm
– Without Even Touching
(Advanced Male and Female Orgasm Tips)
Yes,
it's possible. And what's more: It's fun! This is advanced
lovemaking, though, more advanced than, say, beginners tantra. I
wrote about it in my blog,Soren's
Blog: Inspirational Thoughts
because someone I didn't know surprised me with a question about
it. If you are into really deep sexuality, please enjoy
the love making article
How to Give a Female an Orgasm – Without Even Touching (Advanced
Male and Female Orgasm Tips)
Different Lovemaking Positions
This, of course is a part of love making techniques, but it's
even less important! Basically, if you can think about some
interesting love making positions and your partner consents to
them, do try them out. The thing is, though, that it's not the
position, nor even the physical activity that's most important,
it's something else entirely. If you're interested, you can read
more about this on the page
Different Love Making Positions.
Eating a Girl Out Tips
– How to perform Cunnilingus
(How to Lick Pussy)
This is a sexual empowerment article on eating a girl out tips
a.k.a. how to perform cunnilingus! It is sober & powerful self
improvement information on how to lick pussy. Get general
cunnilingus advice, plus 10 great
eating a girl out tips.
Humor and Sex
Oh, yeah, THIS is important! You REALLY need your sense of humor
in your sex life. I'm not kidding. 🙂
The thing is, if you aren't able to have fun and laugh when you
make love and have sex, you're in for a hard time. Seriously,
folks, those bodies of ours and all that they can do, they're
great, but they're also hilarious!
Not taking yourself and your body too seriously is an essential
part of love making and a good sex life. Whether you agree with
this or not, you may want to read this page about
Humour and Sex.
Sex Quotes
As I have written elsewhere on this website I really like
quotes, and have been gathering good quotes, sayings and more
for more than a decade. Some of those good quotes concern making
love, of course, or more precisely: they concern sex. Over time
I'll present those sex quotes here.
For now, lets just begin with
Funny Sex Quotes. Have fun! 🙂
Lose Your Inhibitions!
Inhibitions are a pain. Not just sexual inhibitions, but all
kinds – and that's what I have written an in-depth self help
article about. The article is general in nature, i.e. not
specifically focused on sexual inhibitions, but it lays the
groundwork very nicely. You can read it at
Lose Your Inhibitions – The Why and How of No Inhibitions.
Uninhibited Sex – the Joy of Being Sexually Uninhibited
If there is some non-permanently-damaging sexual activity
between you and a consenting adult that you find repulsive or
for some other reason don't want anything to do with, then
you've probably got some sort of sexual inhibition.
This is extremely common. Almost everybody has, or has had,
sexual inhibitions. The problem with that is that it doesn't
feel nice. It feels limiting and unnatural.
And the truth is that that kind of inhibitions are useless – you
don't need them. Let me just repeat that: In your lovemaking
with another consenting adult (or yourself) you do not need as
much as one single sexual inhibition!
Having very few or no sexual inhibitions (other than not doing
permanent damage), on the other hand, feels natural and
wonderful. Well, you can get there, if you want. Read more, if
you so desire, on the page
Uninhibited Sex.
Vaginal Plastic Surgery to Get the Perfect Vagina – or Not?
(Self Improvement Tips on 'Designer Vaginas')
A rising number of women are considering vaginal plastic
surgery. Vaginaplasty and labioplasty are the fastest growing
type of cosmetic surgery in the US and several European
countries. The goal of this female genital cosmetic surgery? To
get 'the perfect vagina'! But is there any such thing? And are
there other things you should take into consideration before you
(or somebody you know) get labial surgery? Here are a whole
bunch of self improvement tips on 'designer vaginas'. You'll
find them atVaginal
Plastic Surgery to Get the Perfect Vagina – or Not?.
Making Love to a Virgin
Pete and Georgia are two people who have experience with
virgins. Pete has his experience because during a period of his
life he was fascinated with virgins and 'deflowered' several
girls. Georgia has her sexual experience with virgins, not
because virginity turns her on as such, but because young men
turn her on. Read what they have to say on the page
Making Love to a Virgin.
Better Love Making
Here's a fact that surprises many people: The most important
part of your love making is the part that's happening inside
yourself. That's because lovemaking is an experience, and you
your experience of making love takes place inside yourself. Even
if you are doing it with another person.
In other words: A relaxed, open, trusting, loving and playful
attitude can replace sexual skills, but sexual skills cannot
replace relaxed, open, trusting, loving and playful attitude!
Romantic Love Making
Love making. Consider the words. They actually mean 'the
creation of love'. And that what makes love making romantic:
When it's an expression of love [LINK].
If you want to know about romantic love making, then that's your
answer in a nutshell: To make romance, to REALLY make romance,
you need to love the other person. As unconditionally as you
can. If you do, everything suddenly becomes very easy. You just
act out of love, and whatever you do feels great for both you
and your partner.
Of course, to many people lovemaking is 'just sex'. Okay, then,
what makes sex romantic?
Some of the most basic answers to that are: 'attention',
'acceptance', 'be
yourself' and 'spend lots of time'.
You can read more about all this on:
Romantic Love Making.
Making Love During Pregnancy
As long as it's a normal, healthy pregnancy there is absolutely
no reason why you should not enjoy sex just as much as you've
always done.
Of course, as the woman's stomach grows, some lovemaking
positions become difficult and impractical while other positions
become preferable. Also, the pregnant woman's breasts sometimes
become painfully sensitive. And some men (and some women, too)
need to adjust to the fact that the woman now looks, feels and
behaves differently.
But all those things can be handled, particularly if they take
place in an atmosphere of love!
Some of the most important facts to remember include that sex
during pregnancy doesn't harm the baby and that in all
likelihood whatever you enjoy the baby will enjoy, too. Read
more here:Making
Love During Pregnancy.
G Spot Lovemaking Techniques
The famous G spot: Not a myth, but a very solid and very wet
reality! Particularly for women, although men, too, have a
delightful G spot. So called G spot orgasms really are something
else! You do not, however, need to focus as much on a particular
spot inside the body as you need to have a particular mind set.
Although … a bit of knowledge definitely helps, too. 🙂 Read
more about
G Spot Lovemaking Techniques and
G-Spot Vibrator.
Underwater Lovemaking
Well, here's one for the slightly more advanced folks!
Making love under water is certainly possible and can in fact be
very enjoyable. Pros include the fact that you and your partner
are almost weightless and cons include the physical difficulties
arising from the fact that you do need to breathe and for
penetration you do need lubrication – which the water tends to
wash away.
Read more about it on
Underwater Lovemaking.
Masculine and Feminine Gender, Side and Energy
Traditionally 'yin' and 'yang' have been used to describe the
polarity between the feminine side (yin) and the masculine side
(yang) of many things, including us humans with our genders and
different kinds of energy.
The gender of a person is merely an indication: Women with a
powerfully masculine energy and men with a powerful feminine
energy both exist. We all – every single male and every single
female – contain both sides, both energies.
When it comes to making love those sides, or energies, are quite
important. This is true for both heterosexual and homosexual
people. Understanding, accepting and using the different
energies is one of the things that moves your lovemaking to the
next level.
Making Love to My Wife
Here's a case story I would like to share:
Gary tells us how his love life has changed over the years. It
actually includes some of the things you can read about on this
page – from Gary and Anna's first time love making to underwater
lovemaking to sex during Anna's first pregnancy – and the
difficult time of no sex that followed Anna's birth of their
first child. The thing that Gary focuses on, however, is their
love. Read Gary and Anna's story here:
Making Love to My Wife.
And another case story for you:
Marie shares some of her lovemaking experiences in an honest and
very down to earth sort of way.
For Marie lovemaking started out as raw sex, pure and simple,
and then gradually over the years evolved into something that's
so incredible as to perhaps appear incomprehensible to most
folks.
Read Marie's story on the page
Making Love to a Man.
Wedding Night Lovemaking
Yet another case story for you: John and Joanne had known each
other for several years when they decided to get married. They
also decided to make their wedding night something special. And
they succeeded! Read how here:
Wedding Night Lovemaking.
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