• If you're looking for a new love here are 3 steps
to follow.
• The steps are presented with a smile …
• … & sprinkled with inspirational quotations & motivational
phrases.
• This page is an entry in "Soren's
Blog: Inspirational Thoughts" – a blog aimed at your
personal development & spiritual growth. This blog incorporates
inspirational motivational quotes, empowerment theory, random
funny facts, motivational phrases, short funny jokes, funny
questions that make you think and more!
So You are Looking for a New Love?
Are you between girlfriends or boyfriends right now? Between
lovers? Don't have a partner?
If you're looking for a new love I'd like to give you a couple
of motivational, inspirational thoughts. I've got lots of them
(as is witnessed by the pages
Love Tips and
Relationship Problem Advice), but in this article I'll just
present you with three.
This Means Doing Something New
Notice the word 'new'. New means 'not as usual'. It means that
it's a good idea to do something you don't usually do.
Killing off the Old Habits
Yes, you have a routine. We all do.
We have lots of habits, and old habits die hard. However, if
you're looking for a new love and you haven't yet found him or
her, it means that your regular habits, haunts and actions
aren't doing what you want them to do. You need to do something
new.
Aim high and go skydiving to meet new people. Aim low and go
scuba diving to meet new people. Or aim for a new rhythm and
join a dance club where they dance tango, samba, hip hop or
something else you haven't tried before.
Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of
masters.
~ Nathaniel Emmons ~
First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your
bad habits or they will conquer you.
~ Rob Gilbert ~
You leave old habits behind by starting out with the
thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'.
~ Wayne Dyer ~
Go for What You Love
In fact, why not make that 'new thing' something you would like
to try – or even love to try?
I'm sure there's something. Something you've been wanting to try
for years; or something you wanted to try years ago but somehow
almost forgot about. Think. Think back. Dust off the old dreams
and ideas.
Go for the feeling of excitement, and if you can't find that, go
for the thing that piques your interest.
If you can't even find that, just ask the people who know you
for inspirational thoughts about what new things they think
would be great for you. I bet you they've got some ideas.
Being myself includes taking risks with myself, taking risks on
new behaviour, trying new ways of 'being myself', so that I can
see how it is I want to be.
~ Hugh Prather ~
The 3 Most Important Things
Just remember: Regarding this first love tip only three things
really matter:
a) that you're doing something new,
b) that you're meeting new people and
c) that you're enjoying it.
There's no reason in the world why looking for a new love
shouldn't be joyful and fun.
Put a grain of boldness into everything you do.
~ Baltasar Gracian ~
Feeling daunted, scared at the prospect of looking for a new
love by doing new things and meeting new people? Of course you
are. We all resent change, we're all worried about not fitting
in, we're all afraid of not being good enough, etc. But you can
do it. You can:
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
~ Susan Jeffers ~ (inspirational quote, and also the
title of her book)
Relax and Give
You want to make a good impression, right? So when looking for a
new love you pretend a bit (or a lot) and you try to control the
situation. You try to make plans and work out strategies.
I'm sorry to say that it doesn't work. Life – which includes
other people – cannot be controlled. It's inherently
unpredictable.
Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
~ Allen Saunders ~ (later attributed to John Lennon,
Lily Tomlin et al.)
If life wasn't like that, if we could truly control it – and
control other people – we'd soon be bored out of our skulls.
What follows are some inspirational thoughts as to why
pretending, controlling and strategizing do not work – and what
to do instead.
Life is a wonder, a mystery. You can't control it, so just relax
and enjoy living it.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ goodconsciouslife.com
Relax, Don't Pretend
We're social animals, so of course we adapt ourselves to each
other to some degree. But if you're looking for a new love,
that's where it has to end. Do NOT pretend. Do not try to
control. Forget about plans and strategies.br> Remember, the
simple cause and effect:
Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
~ Bible (Galatians) ~
The thing is, you're looking for a new LOVE here, not just
someone to bang in a drunken stupor on a Saturday night! 🙂
Pretend to be someone or something you're not and those with
whom you might have built a great, honest love relationship will
instinctively avoid you. What you're left with are those who
pretend just like you do.
Don't want that, right? Want love! So … give love!
Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.
~ C. S. Lewis ~
Complete possession is proved only by giving. All you are unable
to give possesses you.
~ Andre Gide ~
'The Law of Attraction'
This approach – which really works – has been called by many
names, the most popular new one is 'The Law of Attraction'. In
fact it's just a fancy name for the great simplicity and magic
of life:br>By giving to someone else that which you want for
yourself you're proving to life, and more importantly to
yourself, that you already have it. If you didn't, you wouldn't
be able to give it away, now, would you?
Be Yourself in Your Most Loving Version
A famous American professor of medicine used an old Confucius
quote for the title of one of his books:
Wherever You Go, There You Are
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn ~
Like many zen sayings this apparently self evident statement has
several inherent meanings, one of which is that you always are
where you are, so you might as well be present. Another inherent
meaning is the fact that whether you want to or not, you're
destined to live with yourself for the rest of your life – you
can't run from yourself.
Conclusion: Be here now, and just be yourself.
Being Loving Is Simple
'Just be yourself' is an easy piece of advice to give, but in
reality most people find it quite hard to follow.
I don't, however, mean 'be just any version of yourself', I mean
'be the most loving version of yourself you can'. This actually
makes it easier, not harder.
Love is simple enough – it's all about being who you really are,
for you are unconditional love, and so is everybody else.
Trouble only arises when we forget that. When we remember it
again, and act accordingly, trouble simply dissipates as if it
were never there – which in fact it wasn't.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ goodconsciouslife.com
To carry this piece of advice out in practice, just ask your
heart: 'What would unconditional love do in this situation?'
Then notice the very first thing that springs to mind. Don't
'overthink' it, just listen to the very first impulse your heart
gives you. It takes less than a second.
Find that Loving Feeling
If you're in doubt about how to start giving love just think
back to one of the times you've been in love.
Yes, I know you're not in love, but looking for a new love, but
just remember how what it was like to be in love – how you
thought and acted towards your loved one.
That's the kind of thoughts and behaviour towards new people
you're looking for here. ALL the new people you meet. It works
wonders. Truly.
Never Been in Love?
Some people have never been in love, and perhaps you're one of
them. No problem. Simply think in terms of love, spaciousness
and acceptance – and act accordingly. If you totally accepted
these new people, if you had lots of room for them in your
heart, if you loved them without reservation … what would you
do, how would you behave? Let the answer be your guideline.
Using a Role Model
You might even think about a role model.
Most people know (or have known) a person who is exceptionally
open minded, accepting and loving. Perhaps it's one of your
grandparents, perhaps it's another family member, or a teacher,
a guru, a coach, a famous person or one of your friends.
Consider how this person would have acted and act the same way.
Nothing is so infectious as example.
~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld ~
Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the
only thing.
~ Albert Schweitzer ~
Maximize your use of role models like this: People you
consider great have made great mistakes AND had great success.
Learn from both. People you consider small have made different
mistakes AND had success in a different way. Learn from both.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ goodconsciouslife.com
A New Beginning
Remember, if you've followed advice no. 1, you're out there
meeting new people. This is a new chance for you, because new
people don't know the old you. So let the new you be more
accepting and loving.
And if it turns out (as well it might) that you like this new
version of yourself better than the old one, well, then you can
simply make the switch to the new you in your old life as well.
Whether you make that switch quickly or more slowly and
imperceptibly, is entirely up to you.
In Conclusion
To sum it up … if you're looking for a new love, three
excellent steps might be:
1. Ditch the old habits and do something new so you meet
new people.
2. Stop pretending and trying to control – just relax and give
love to others.
3. Choose to be the most loving version of yourself that you
can.
When you're looking for a new love these three steps are really
helpful. They're an important part of finding true love. If you
find it a little too daunting to try all of them, why not try
just one?
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