How to Relax by Yourself ... Remember to Do Nothing

– by Søren Lauritzen, July 2020

This time of Covid has the potential to teach us a lot. A lot really. About all sorts of things. One of the things we can learn about is how to do nothing. How to do absolutely nothing and how to relax by yourself!

Doing nothing is important.

Many of us are so used to having to perform, having to meet others’ and our own expectations and obligations. All the time.

But what if it’s not necessary – or even desirable?

Or, more precisely:

It is NOT desirable to be doing everything all the time. We need breaks.

Both:

– short breaks, several times a day, where we stare into space, take a walk, or something similar
– medium breaks, at least once a week, where we take a full day, a “me-day” completely without obligations
– long breaks, periods of several days or weeks, where we spend much of the time doing nothing

And we need, both mentally and emotionally, to switch off from all the “musts” and “shoulds” and “have to’s”.

We all know this.

We know it so well that it seems self-evident when we read about it.

And because it’s self-evident, we ignore it. Skip over it. Forget it.

Bad idea.

People who have experienced severe stress, for example, know why: We hurt ourselves when we ignore breaks and “me-time.”

“I sat in my backyard all afternoon and did nothing. Whenever I do nothing I feel I’ve accomplished a lot.” ~ Marty Rubin ~ (1930-1994) Canadian-American writer, creator of many aphorisms, and author of the book “The Boiled Frog Syndrome”.

The fact is:

There is nothing we have to do.

There is nothing we need to do. There is practically nothing we are “forced” or “obliged” to do. It’s an illusion, a belief, a fixed idea that isn’t true.

All that “must,” “should,” and “have to” stuff exists primarily in our heads.

There are a few things we might benefit from doing, but if we REALLY check in our own lives, we’ll discover there actually aren’t that many. Almost everything we’re involved in, we can drop if we truly want to. We have the power to do so.

Image: A relaxed lioness lying on a tree. Text: Funny quote by Groucho Marx.

If we suffer from severe stress, a life-threatening illness, or a serious injury, we might be forced to drop all the unnecessary things.

But we don’t need external factors to do that. If we want to, we can design our lives so that we almost never “must,” “should,” or “have to” do anything. It’s a choice. Our choice.

Not everyone will thrive with such a life, but some will, and many will greatly benefit from arranging their lives in that direction. In return, we will all benefit from remembering breaks and “me-time.”

So next time someone suggests something happening on Tuesday or Sunday, you can choose to say, “No, sorry, I have another important appointment.”

And that appointment — it’s with yourself.