Weird, Bizarre and Funny Stupid Questions

• Life’s full of funny stupid questions – if you know where to look …
• Look no further!
• Here, we present you with lots of weird, bizarre questions
• Plus some funny sayings, a quote and one very funny joke  

• This page is an entry in "Funny
Life Quotes & Stuff: The Quotescoop.com Inspiration Blog" –
a blog aimed at your entertainment, inspiration and empowerment.
This inspirational, motivational blog is based on fun, truth and
empowerment theory, and it incorporates inspirational sayings,
bizarre facts, funny unanswered questions, really funny jokes,
random funny stuff and more!

Funny Life Quotes

This blog is all about the big questions in life – or is that
questions that make you think? Or is it funny trick questions?
Or is it simply funny dumb questions?

You know, weird questions like 'Why does 'caregiver' and
'caretaker' mean the same thing?' and 'If a guy with
multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?' and 'Do radioactive cats
have eighteen half-lives?' That sort of bizarre questions.

Whatever weird questions like that should be called, we'll
open the 'hostilities' by paraphrasing one of many famous
sayings about life: Life's a bitch when it turns out you
married one, and then you die.

In that vein a famous Dane (Danish inventor, author and
cartoonist) once said:

Life is like a kid's t-shirt … short and dirty.
~ Robert Storm Petersen ~

Oh, speaking of life and death, we've got a joke, we just
have to tell you.

You know how some women will keep asking their men questions
that they don't want the answer to? (Like, 'Do I look fat to
you?' and: 'Is she prettier than me?' And: 'What would you do if
I died?' Well, here's how that might go down …

A Life and Death Joke

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why
do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.
"No, of course not, dear," said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear," he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes, sure," said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a
long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would," replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear
my old clothes?"
"I don't know, I suppose, if she really wanted to," said the
husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the
pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes … I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose
you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too?"
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

Well, as you are probably well aware, the question isn't so
much whether there's life after death, but rather if there's
life before death.

The thought of death can either make you live each day as
if it were your last (which one day it will be, let's just
hope it isn't one of these days …) – or, the thought of
death can make you stop living because it scares you so
badly. And so it is that we ask these funny stupid questions:

What happens when you get scared half-to-death twice?

If someone kills your neighbour, then your neighbour was
murdered, right? But what about heads of state? Well, they get
assassinated. So, just how important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated instead of just
murdered?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

What is the normal warranty on burial coffins – lifetime
guarantee? We think it's important to know before you're
going six feet under. Or, at least it may be important to your
family and friends.

By the way, why is it six feet under? Why not five feet or
seven feet or six point three feet? Do undertakers really
measure that depth?

And why isn't 'You're going down!' the same, only vice
versa, as 'I'm going down on you!'?

Speaking of ups and downs: Why do the numbers on phones go
down while the numbers on calculators go up?

Why do we 'scrub down' and 'wash up'?

How can a house burn up when it burns down?

And, hey, you know the things we walk on to get up or down in
our buildings? Why are they called stairs inside but steps
outside? And do those steps and stairs go up or down?

More Funny Stupid Questions

And now for something completely different in the realm of
funny dumb questions:

If some nasty person wants to slap the US president in the
face, how do you he corner him (or, perhaps at some point:
her) in the Oval Office?

Isn't it funny, by the way, how the word 'politics' is
made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics'
as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Speaking of those, have you noticed that if you rearrange
the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'woman Hitler'?

Moving to some folks who are almost as famous as Hitler is
infamous:

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the
shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

And what about the two dogs in Duckburg, Goofy and Pluto –
one stands on two legs and talks while the other remains on four
and barks – what's up with that? Some kind of Disney dog
discrimination?

And why do they call sterilization 'getting your dog
fixed' if afterwards it doesn’t work properly anymore?

Even More Funny Weird Questions – First Batch

Yes, there are many funny unanswered questions in this life,
and just for the heck of it we'll end this blog post with three
times 10 choice weird questions. Here's the first batch:

Aren't all generalizations false – including this one?

Even More Funny Dumb Questions – Second Batch

And here's the second batch of 10
strange, funny questions: