Funny Sex Quotes and Hilarious Sayings on 'Doing It'

• Is sex fun? Well, if it isn’t, you’re doing it wrong …

• These funny sex quotes are slightly raunchy but they’re good fun.

• I’ve even ranked them for you: From the best to the fifth best.

• Please: Have fun – both in your sex life and with these quotes. 🙂

Funny Sex Quotes: Cherish the Playful Attitude

Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered – and I still do – which is more important.
~ Hermione Gingold ~

As I have mentioned elsewhere on this website there is absolutely no discrepancy between lovemaking and humor. Sex is wonderful, but it’s also funny. Just think of all the wonderful and hilarious things we can do with these amazing bodies we get to play in!

When seen – obscene, when heard – absurd, but done – great fun.
~ John O’Mill ~

Certainly sex should put a smile on your face and a laugh in your belly, because like life itself, sex should not be taken too seriously. Good sex is just that because, among other things, it’s fun and games. If it isn’t, it may soon cease to be good sex.

What people say about sex reflect this. I have created a nice collection of funny love quotes, which I am happy to present to you. It may not be the fare of prudes or even considered good taste … but then: who cares?

Good taste and humour … are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.
~ Malcolm Muggeridge ~

So, hopefully the following funny sex quotes, like sex itself, can put a smile on your face and a laugh in your belly!

The Best Funny Sex Quotes

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.
~ Butch Hancock ~

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can’t even get into my own pants.
~ Unknown ~

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
~ Unknown ~

Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
~ Woody Allen ~

The Second Best Funny Sex Quotes

I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.
~ Scott Roeben ~

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!
~ George Bernard Shaw ~

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said ‘no’.
~ Woody Allen ~

My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
~ Emo Philips ~

The Third Best Funny Sex Quotes

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
~ Phyllis Diller ~

Virginity is like a bubble – one prick and it’s all gone!
~ Unknown ~

Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
~ Bob Rubin ~

Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.
~ Unknown ~

The Fourth Best Funny Sex Quotes

If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
~ Louise Sammons ~

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.
~ Mignon McLaughlin ~

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So … what’s the problem?
~ Phyllis Diller ~

If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all.
~ Rodney Dangerfield ~

The Fifth Best Funny Sex Quotes

I’m going to Iowa for an award. Then I’m appearing at Carnegie Hall, it’s sold out. Then I’m sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I’d give it all up for one erection.
~ Groucho Marx ~

Sex without love is merely physical exercise. But that’s real healthy, isn’t it?
~ Unknown ~

A girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.
~ Redd Foxx ~

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.
~ Unknown ~