Funny Life Quotes and Other Random Hilarious Stuff

However, if you've been here before, you may want to navigate
this blog instead – jump directly to the newest entry, for
example. So, you'll get a clickable overview of the blog entries
right here.

Some of the following hyperlinks will take you further down
this page, others will take you to a new page (for those blog
entries that are long enough to warrant their own page):

goodconsciouslife's History of Humorous Thoughts, Crazy
Thoughts & Weird, Funny Reflections

Is Santa Claus Real?

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Funny Stupid Questions & Weird, Bizarre Questions

Funny Cat Quotes & Funny Dog Sayings
(a small motivation essay)

Life Isn't Serious

Content, Purpose & Tools

This is what's in it for you …

Content
You'll be pleased, but hardly surprised, to hear that this blog
is about life, quotes and
random funny stuff.

Purpose
The goals of the blog are to entertain you,
inspire you and empower you.

Tools
Our weapons of choice in doing so are truth, fun,
motivation, inspiration and empowerment theory.

Yep, there's actually an empowerment theory behind this blog.
To find out why, just read on.

Demotivational Quotes & Demotivational Sayings?

Don't worry, life is just a phase you're going
through. You'll soon get over it.
~ Inspirational quote? ~

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to
sail out to sea and sink.
~ Shunryu Suzuki Roshi ~

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on
living, even if it kills you.
~ Sholom Aleichem ~

For the most part this blog will be written by
fun, inspiration & truth lover Soren Lauritzen, and he's one of
those weirdoes who has had an overdose of personal development &
self improvement resulting in life transforming epiphanies.

Those experiences changed his view of life, the universe and
everything, and he spent years relating his new perspective to
everyday life and developing a new, unique

empowerment theory. He's going to use that here, just like
elsewhere on goodconsciouslife.com.

So you can expect to be uplifted by a high level of universal
/ absolute truth in the content.

Although, of course, that's not the only content – because,
hey, where's the fun in that?

Other Ingredients: Inspiration, Quotes, Jokes & Random Funny
Stuff

Also, you can expect high levels of inspiration and
entertainment. And not just funny quotes, either. Here is a
quick overview of the many inspiring, interesting and funny
things which – in time – you may find here:

Quotes, Quotations, Sayings, Mottos, Slogans and
Proverbs
You'll probably find many different kinds of funny,
inspirational and motivational quotes, sayings, etc., here, like
for instance: inspirational sayings, philosophy quotes, famous
sayings, motivational phrases, demotivational sayings,
demotivational quotes & demotivators, inspiring quotes, sweet
sayings, funny inspirational quotes, spiritual quotes and other
kinds of inspirational and humorous quotes.

Questions and Things for You to Say (and Perhaps Do)
You might find different kinds of funny things to say, funny
questions, and questions that make you think, like: funny
unanswered questions, deep questions, fun trick questions, funny
stupid questions, stupid questions to ask people, confusing
questions and just plain weird questions. Perhaps also, if the
mood takes us: stupid things people do, things to do when bored
and funny things to do in general.

Amusing Facts
Based on the world of weird phenomena you may find several kinds
of 'did you know facts' and 'funny fun facts', like: fun
interesting facts, bizarre facts, unbelievable facts, weird but
true facts, interesting animal facts, fun food facts,
interesting random facts and random fun facts.

Other Weird Stuff and Funny Weird Stuff
Undoubtedly there'll also be some other interesting, strange,
weird and sick stuff here, too. It's all about entertaining you.

And every once in a while inducing consciousness, too. A
consciousness shift induced by laughter and smiles never hurt
anyone. 🙂

Insertion: 3 Funny Life Quotes 4 You

Life is just one damned thing after another.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

It is not true that life is one damn thing after
another – it's one damn thing over and over.
~ Edna St. Vincent Millay ~

It's true that life is one damn thing after another
AND one damn thing over and over AND – second by second – never
the same. So, what is life? It's whatever we choose it to be. We
can even choose to let it be what it is …
~ Soren Lauritzen ~ , the Personal Development Guy

Level of Consciousness: High!
Kind of Humor: Black and Dirty!

goodconsciouslife.com likes anything that's truly funny. This includes
for instance black humor, sick humor, demotivational quotes and
x-rated jokes. We like clean funny jokes or clean short jokes,
too, if they're funny, but we are NOT politically correct. Just
so you know what to expect.

Blog Entries – How Often?

The blogging aim will be to make an entry every second week, but
since we at goodconsciouslife.com don't take that statement too
seriously, you probably shouldn't, either. 😉

So Sorry: No Comments! However …

The goodconsciouslife.com Inspiration Blog isn't one of those
blogs that you can comment on, sorry.

It would be GREAT if you'd to participate on this website,
though. To do that just jump to the page

Share Your Very Funny Joke. (More shared pages like that one
is on the way). Of course, on that page you can also read the
jokes other visitors have shared – and comment on it.

In this life I started out with nothing at all, and
in fact I still have most of it.
~ Inspirational quote ~

My advice to those who are about to begin, in
earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand
and a club in the other.
~ Josh Billings ~

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as
if you were going to die tomorrow.
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

Life Isn't Serious

A deeply philosophical guy who lived some 400 years before we
even started counting the years the way we do today (in the
West) once said:

No human thing is of serious importance.
~ Plato ~

Incidentally

Plato was not only a philosopher, but also a mathematician,
an world famous author and founder of the first institution of
higher learning in the Western world – the Academy in Athens. He
may have known what he was talking about.

In more recent times (1856-1915) an American artist,
philosopher, writer and publisher has been accredited, perhaps
unduly, with saying:

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get
out of it alive.
~ Elbert Green Hubbard ~

And in even more recent times (1914-1997), American
journalist and author Brendan Gill (who wrote for the New York
Times for more than 60 years and authored many books) said:

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea
that life is serious.
~ Brendan Gill ~

goodconsciouslife.com's Opinion

goodconsciouslife.com agrees completely with Mr. Gill's notion, but we
also beg to differ a bit, because lots of evidence exists to
show that life is serious. Lots of evidence exists to support
that life isn't serious, too.

In fact, lots of evidence exists to support just about any
claim you want supported.

What does this tell us about life?

It tells us that life supports anything.

That's actually one of life's defining features!

Corrupt politicians, terrorists and (other) mass murderers
profit from this fact … as did Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi
and, say, Albert Einstein or John Lennon.

Oh, and you, of course. Life supports you no matter who you
are, what you want and how you try to get it.

Life supports everyone in everything. No matter what you (or
anyone else) chooses to be, feel, think, need, believe, do and
have … life's right there, supporting you in your efforts.

Life Goes On

That being said, life DOES have other defining features. One of
them is that it will go on.

In 3 words I can sum up everything I've learned in
life: it goes on.
~ Robert Frost ~

Always forgive but never forget
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret
People change and things go wrong
But always remember
LIFE GOES ON!
~ George Carlin ~ (Excerpt from poem written after his
wife died)

No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,
life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Or not. But
then there's always the day after tomorrow. Or not.
~ Inspirational quote? ~

Life goes on within you and without you.
~ The Beatles ~

Why is it important that life goes on? Because it tells us
about the ultimate consequences of destroying versus creating
(both of which are dependent on each other, and therefore
necessary):

You can be as destructive as you like, but the more
destructive you are, the more likely that you'll destroy
yourself or be destroyed, because, hey, life WILL go on!

If you're scared of corrupt politicians, terrorists and
(other) mass murderers you can take heart from this.

Cats and Dogs

Since we (at goodconsciouslife.com) love bizarre facts, weird but true
facts, and interesting animal facts we thought we find out where
the weird expression 'It's raining cats and dogs' comes from.

We can almost imagine the sound effects of a heavy rain fall
… 'Drip, drip! DRIP, DRIP! Splash! Meow! Woof?'

Turns out, though, that nobody really knows where that
particular saying comes from.

There are lots of interesting attempts at explaining it, but
the most likely explanation is rather prosaic and nasty, because
it has to do with dead animals being washed away in gutters.
But, since nobody knows for sure any guess is (almost) as good
as any other.

Here at Ouotescoop.com we much prefer the more imaginative
guesses, such as packs of dogs and cats (packs of cats?)
crawling around on thatched roofs, slipping when it rains and
falling down on surprised peasants … or (really) freak weather
lifting herds of cats (herds of cats?) and dogs into the sky and
raining them down again on highly surprised gentry.

Funny Quotes about Attitude:
Dogs Have Owners – Cats Have Staff!

However, seeing as how we came up almost empty on the funny
animal facts / funny language facts bit, let's end this blog by
having a quick look at cats and dogs.

There's a lot we can learn from our beloved pets, and much of
it is about attitude towards life.

Let's illustrate that with a cat and dog joke …

A dog thinks: 'Hey, these people I live with feed me,
love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take
good care of me … THEY MUST BE GODS!'

A cat thinks: 'Hey, these people I live with feed me, love
me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good
care of me … I MUST BE A GOD!'

A couple of funny dog quotes and funny cat quotations will
illustrate much the same points:

Dogs believe they are human. Cats know they are
divine.
~ Inspirational quote ~

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and
dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
~ Robert A. Heinlein ~

Funny Dog Sayings That'll Teach Us About Life

Dogs tend to love their owners without reservation, and,
originally used to living in packs, they're obedient and they're
fiercely loyal.

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead
dog, the scenery never changes.
~ Lewis Grizzard ~

Dogs will love even (…) To read the rest of this blog
entry please click here:

Funny Cat Quotes & Funny Dog Sayings.

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Funny Stupid Questions

This blog is all about the big questions in life – or is that
questions that make you think? Or is it funny trick questions?
Or is it simply funny stupid questions?

You know, weird questions like 'Why does 'caregiver'
and 'caretaker' mean the same thing?' and 'If a
guy with multiple personality disorder threatens to kill
himself, is it considered a hostage situation?' and 'Do
radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?' That sort
of bizarre questions.

Whatever weird questions like that should be called, we'll
open the 'hostilities' by paraphrasing one of many famous
sayings about life: Life's a bitch when it turns out you
married one, and then you die.

In that vein a famous Dane (Danish inventor, author and
cartoonist) once said:

Life is like a kid's t-shirt … short and dirty.
~ Robert Storm Petersen ~

Oh, speaking of life and death, we've got a joke, we just
have to tell you (…) To read the rest of this blog
entry please click here:

Funny Stupid Questions.

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great jokes, really funny jokes, cute jokes, witty one liners.

Funny Life Quotes: Honesty Is the Best Policy

In 1824 when a man by the name of John Joseph Stockdale tried to
extort money from Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington,
by threatening to publish stories about the Duke's relationship
to his mistress, Harriette Wilson, the Duke's response was:

Publish and be damned!
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~

The Duke's good name and reputation was at stake,
nevertheless he had enough confidence in himself to let the
story about the attempted blackmail become public knowledge.

His reputation remained fine and he remained a national hero
(for winning the Battle of Waterloo against Napoleon in 1815).
The Duke was later elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

A blackmailer relies on fear. If you have no fear, the
blackmailer is powerless.

The only thing I am afraid of is fear.
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~

If you subscribe to honesty it's actually the blackmailer who
has a problem.

Isn't that funny? It brings life to the old proverb that
Honesty is the best policy.

Let's end this blog post with two other Duke of Wellington
quotes:

Nothing except a battle lost can be half so
melancholy as a battle won.
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~

In his last years, a friend asked the so-called Iron Duke
this question: "If you had your life over again, is
there any way in which you could have done better?" The
old Duke replied: "Yes, I should have given more praise."

That, too, is something to think about isn't it?

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Is Santa Claus Real?

Once a year it's that time of the year, isn't it? The time to be
jolly and caring and give presents.

The time when the big fat man dressed in red fires up his sleigh
and travels around to all the so-called 'good' kids delivering
presents.

Or, at least, that's how it is supposed to be if you live in
one of those parts of the world where Christmas is celebrated.
But what if you don't?

So, goodconsciouslife.com feels compelled to ask this BIG question:
Does Santa Claus Exist? For a fun treatise (full of warm Santa
humor) on this very important subject, please check out the
inspirational article:

Is Santa Claus real?

What Do You Want to Read Now?

Go to the ‘Mother Page’ for funny quotes: A Real Treasure of Funny Quotes and Hilarious Inspirational Sayings

Wonderfully Funny Quotes and Sayings

Short Funny Quotes and Quick, Razor-Sharp Humor!

The 10 Best Funny Love Sayings

Funny Inspirational Quotes and Short Humorous Phrases

Lots of Funny Cat Quotes & Funny Dog Sayings

Funny Sex Quotes – the Best Funny Sexy Quotes and Funny Sex Sayings

Really Funny Quotes on Car Insurance and Hilarious Auto Jokes

Hilariously Funny Sports Quotes by Players, Commentators and Coaches

Go to ‘mother page’ for all quotes: Really Good Quotes about Truth, Inspiration, Motivation … with a Pinch of Fun – Delicious and Juicy Consciousness Snacks

Go to the ‘overview’ page, Collections

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