• On this page we will rant & rave …
• … about funny life quotes … and, well …
• … just about anything in the whole wide world!
• So, be prepared for lots of fun, thought provoking, inspirational …
• … comments, thoughts, stories, quotes, jokes & questions!
Welcome Random Funny Stuff Central Here at GoodConsciousLife.com
Sooo … you’ve dared to enter the most unsacred of unsacred places on goodconsciouslife.com. Bold move. May the farce be with you.
3 Humorous Life Quotes 4 You
Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, “I am with you kid! Let’s go!”
~ Maya Angelou ~
In life you absolutely, positively cannot fail. You can only live – exist and experience. If you’re drawing breath you’re a huge success. Learning is fun, too, but optional. That also goes for everything else.
~ Soren Lauritzen ~
Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
~ Inspirational quote ~
Content, Purpose & Tools
This is what’s in it for you …
Content
You’ll be pleased, but hardly surprised, to hear that this page is about life, quotes and random funny stuff.
Purpose
The goals of the blog are to entertain you, inspire you and empower you.
Tools
Our weapons of choice in doing so are truth, fun, motivation, inspiration and empowerment theory.
Yep, there’s actually an empowerment theory behind this page.
To find out why, just read on.
Demotivational Quotes & Demotivational Sayings?
Don’t worry, life is just a phase you’re going through. You’ll soon get over it.
~ Inspirational quote? ~
Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.
~ Shunryu Suzuki Roshi ~
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
~ Sholom Aleichem ~
What & Who’s Behind This Fun Inspiration Page?
This page is written by fun, inspiration & truth lover Soren Lauritzen, and he’s one of those weirdoes who has had an overdose of personal development & self improvement resulting in life transforming epiphanies.
Those experiences changed his view of life, the universe and everything, and he spent years relating his new perspective to everyday life and developing a new, unique empowerment theory. He’s going to use that here, just like elsewhere on GoodConsciousLife.com.
So you can expect to be uplifted by a high level of universal / absolute truth in the content.
Although, of course, that’s not the only content – because, hey, where’s the fun in that?
Other Ingredients: Inspiration, Quotes, Jokes & Random Funny Stuff
Also, you can expect high levels of inspiration and entertainment. And not just funny quotes, either. Here is a quick overview of the many inspiring, interesting and funny things which – in time – you may find here:
Quotes, Quotations, Sayings, Mottos, Slogans and Proverbs
You’ll probably find many different kinds of funny, inspirational and motivational quotes, sayings, etc., here, like for instance: inspirational sayings, philosophy quotes, famous sayings, motivational phrases, demotivational sayings, demotivational quotes & demotivators, inspiring quotes, sweet sayings, funny inspirational quotes, spiritual quotes and other kinds of inspirational and humorous quotes.
Questions and Things for You to Say (and Perhaps Do)
You might find different kinds of funny things to say, funny questions, and questions that make you think, like: funny unanswered questions, deep questions, fun trick questions, funny stupid questions, stupid questions to ask people, confusing questions and just plain weird questions. Perhaps also, if the mood takes us: stupid things people do, things to do when bored and funny things to do in general.
Amusing Facts
Based on the world of weird phenomena you may find several kinds of ‘did you know facts’ and ‘funny fun facts’, like: fun interesting facts, bizarre facts, unbelievable facts, weird but true facts, interesting animal facts, fun food facts, interesting random facts and random fun facts.
Other Weird Stuff and Funny Weird Stuff
Undoubtedly there’ll also be some other interesting, strange, weird and sick stuff here, too. It’s all about entertaining you.
And every once in a while inducing consciousness, too. A consciousness shift induced by laughter and smiles never hurt anyone. 🙂
3 Funny Life Quotes 4 You
Life is just one damned thing after another.
~ Elbert Hubbard ~
It is not true that life is one damn thing after another – it’s one damn thing over and over.
~ Edna St. Vincent Millay ~
It’s true that life is one damn thing after another AND one damn thing over and over AND – second by second – never the same. So, what is life? It’s whatever we choose it to be. We can even choose to let it be what it is …
~ Soren Lauritzen ~
Level of Consciousness: High! Kind of Humor: Black and Dirty!
GoodConsciousLife.com likes anything that’s truly funny. This includes for instance black humor, sick humor, demotivational quotes and x-rated jokes. We like clean funny jokes or clean short jokes, too, if they’re funny, but we are NOT politically correct. Just so you know what to expect.
3 Humorous Life Quotes 4 You
In this life I started out with nothing at all, and in fact I still have most of it.
~ Inspirational quote ~
My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
~ Josh Billings ~
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~
Life Isn’t Serious
A deeply philosophical guy who lived some 400 years before we even started counting the years the way we do today (in the West) once said:
No human thing is of serious importance.
~ Plato ~
Incidentally Plato was not only a philosopher, but also a mathematician, an world famous author and founder of the first institution of higher learning in the Western world – the Academy in Athens. He may have known what he was talking about.
In more recent times (1856-1915) an American artist, philosopher, writer and publisher has been accredited, perhaps unduly, with saying:
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
~ Elbert Green Hubbard ~
And in even more recent times (1914-1997), American journalist and author Brendan Gill (who wrote for the New York Times for more than 60 years and authored many books) said:
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
~ Brendan Gill ~
GoodConsciousLife.com’s Opinion
GoodConsciousLife.com agrees completely with Mr. Gill’s notion, but we also beg to differ a bit, because lots of evidence exists to show that life is serious. Lots of evidence exists to support that life isn’t serious, too.
In fact, lots of evidence exists to support just about any claim you want supported.
What does this tell us about life?
It tells us that life supports anything.
That’s actually one of life’s defining features!
Corrupt politicians, terrorists and (other) mass murderers profit from this fact … as did Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi and, say, Albert Einstein or John Lennon.
Oh, and you, of course. Life supports you no matter who you are, what you want and how you try to get it.
Life supports everyone in everything. No matter what you (or anyone else) chooses to be, feel, think, need, believe, do and have … life’s right there, supporting you in your efforts.
Life Goes On
That being said, life DOES have other defining features. One of them is that it will go on.
In 3 words I can sum up everything I’ve learned in life: it goes on.
~ Robert Frost ~
Always forgive but never forget
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret
People change and things go wrong
But always remember
LIFE GOES ON!
~ George Carlin ~ (Excerpt from poem written after his wife died)
No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Or not. But then there’s always the day after tomorrow. Or not.
~ Inspirational quote? ~
Life goes on within you and without you.
~ The Beatles ~
Why is it important that life goes on? Because it tells us about the ultimate consequences of destroying versus creating (both of which are dependent on each other, and therefore necessary):
You can be as destructive as you like, but the more destructive you are, the more likely that you’ll destroy yourself or be destroyed, because, hey, life WILL go on! If you’re scared of corrupt politicians, terrorists and (other) mass murderers you can take heart from this.
Cats and Dogs
Since we (at goodconsciouslife.com) love bizarre facts, weird but true facts, and interesting animal facts we thought we find out where the weird expression ‘It’s raining cats and dogs’ comes from.
We can almost imagine the sound effects of a heavy rain fall … ‘Drip, drip! DRIP, DRIP! Splash! Meow! Woof?’
Turns out, though, that nobody really knows where that particular saying comes from.
There are lots of interesting attempts at explaining it, but the most likely explanation is rather prosaic and nasty, because it has to do with dead animals being washed away in gutters.
But, since nobody knows for sure any guess is (almost) as good as any other.
Here we much prefer the more imaginative guesses, such as packs of dogs and cats (packs of cats?) crawling around on thatched roofs, slipping when it rains and falling down on surprised peasants … or (really) freak weather lifting herds of cats (herds of cats?) and dogs into the sky and raining them down again on highly surprised gentry.
Funny Quotes about Attitude: Dogs Have Owners – Cats Have Staff!
However, seeing as how we came up almost empty on the funny animal facts / funny language facts bit, let’s end this page by having a quick look at cats and dogs.
There’s a lot we can learn from our beloved pets, and much of it is about attitude towards life.
Let’s illustrate that with a cat and dog joke …
A dog thinks: ‘Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me … THEY MUST BE GODS!’
A cat thinks: ‘Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me … I MUST BE A GOD!’
A couple of funny dog quotes and funny cat quotations will illustrate much the same points:
Dogs believe they are human. Cats know they are divine.
~ Inspirational quote ~
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
~ Robert A. Heinlein ~
Funny Dog Sayings That’ll Teach Us About Life
Dogs tend to love their owners without reservation, and, originally used to living in packs, they’re obedient and they’re fiercely loyal.
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
~ Lewis Grizzard ~
Funny Stupid Questions
This page is all about the big questions in life – or is that questions that make you think? Or is it funny trick questions? Or is it simply funny stupid questions?
You know, weird questions like ‘Why does ‘caregiver’ and ‘caretaker’ mean the same thing?‘ and ‘If a guy with multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?‘ and ‘Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?‘ That sort of bizarre questions.
Whatever weird questions like that should be called, we’ll open the ‘hostilities’ by paraphrasing one of many famous sayings about life:
Life’s a bitch when it turns out you married one, and then you die.
In that vein a famous Dane (Danish inventor, author and cartoonist) once said:
Life is like a kid’s t-shirt … short and dirty.
~ Robert Storm Petersen ~
Funny Life Quotes: Honesty Is the Best Policy
In 1824 when a man by the name of John Joseph Stockdale tried to extort money from Arthur Wellesley, the 1st Duke of Wellington, by threatening to publish stories about the Duke’s relationship to his mistress, Harriette Wilson, the Duke’s response was:
Publish and be damned!
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~
The Duke’s good name and reputation was at stake, nevertheless he had enough confidence in himself to let the story about the attempted blackmail become public knowledge.
His reputation remained fine and he remained a national hero (for winning the Battle of Waterloo against Napoleon in 1815).
The Duke was later elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
A blackmailer relies on fear. If you have no fear, the blackmailer is powerless.
The only thing I am afraid of is fear.
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~
If you subscribe to honesty it’s actually the blackmailer who has a problem.
Isn’t that funny? It brings life to the old proverb that Honesty is the best policy.
Let’s end this page with two other Duke of Wellington quotes:
Nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won.
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~
In his last years, a friend asked the so-called Iron Duke this question: “If you had your life over again, is there any way in which you could have done better?”
The old Duke replied: “Yes, I should have given more praise.”
That, too, is something to think about isn’t it?
Is Santa Claus Real?
Once a year it’s that time of the year, isn’t it? The time to be jolly and caring and give presents.
The time when the big fat man dressed in red fires up his sleigh and travels around to all the so-called ‘good’ kids delivering presents.
Or, at least, that’s how it is supposed to be if you live in one of those parts of the world where Christmas is celebrated.
But what if you don’t?
So, GoodConsciousLife.com feels compelled to ask this BIG question:
Does Santa Claus Exist? For a fun treatise (full of warm Santa humor) on this very important subject, please check out the inspirational article: Is Santa Claus real?
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