• Do you want to learn the secrets of understanding women?
• Would you like to know how women think?
• Understanding girls and women is challenging, but you can do
it …
• And it will benefit you greatly, but it turns out you don't
have to!
• Intrigued? Get some great self improvement advice in love
relationship
Tips & Tricks for Men on Understanding Girls & Women
(Note: This self improvement article is mostly aimed at men, but
women can take a peek as well, of course … If you are a woman
it might be fun to see if you think I 'get' your sex or not).
🙂
As a young boy you are probably pretty perplexed when it comes
to understanding girls. Then you grow up into a man who is more
than likely even more perplexed about understanding women.
There are a lot of things that men are naturally equipped to
handle in this world, but apparently knowing how to understand
women is not on that list …
You would think after all these years of evolution and human
development there would be a greater sense of how women think
built into every man's mind at birth, but no, no, understanding
girls remains a mystery!
It might almost seem that nature wants the female to be
surrounded by mystery and intrigue, which means boys have to
continue the struggle of understanding girls and later on in
life understanding women. There are ways to deal with this,
though.
Now, understanding women and how women think is a fascinating
subject, and I am going to do my very best communicating it to
you, so this particular personal development article is going to
be pretty long and involved.
If you just want to skip down to the single most important point
and the summary you can (but you'll miss some very important
info). Use this link to jump:
Using True Love for Understanding Women. Or, even better,
just read on and get some great self improvement advice in love
relationship – and more. You CAN learn how to understand women!
Learning How to Understand Women?
Even if you wear your sexual, reproductive equipment on the
outside of your body there are ways you can learn how to
understand women.
Now, if you are brave and particularly interested in personal
development and self improvement, you can do what I, personally,
have done: Get in touch with and integrate your feminine
aspects.
I heartily recommend doing this. It provides for a much greater
feeling of wholeness and integrity, as well as giving you a more
direct first hand experience of how women think and feel.
And no, allowing yourself to experience and integrate your
feminine sides does not make you gay (homosexual). You will be
as masculine as ever, and … odds are that many women will be
even more attracted to you. At least this has been my
experience. I now know much more about how women thing and have
an extremely easy time with women.
(Maybe, someday, I will write about the processes that I have
been through in this area – but not here and now, because this
is about you and understanding women, not about me).
On the other hand, you don't need to do what I have done. The
good news is you can learn how to understand women if you give
it just a bit of effort, time and thought.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – Beginning of Sidebars – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – –
Now, before I go on with this self improvement article on
understanding women, I feel the need to answer three questions
that I sometimes get. I will use three quick sidebars for those.
Sidebar 1:
Is Understanding Women Something I Can
Teach You Personally?
Sometimes I get this question from men: Can you teach me what
you have? Can you teach me (1-on-1 or together with my partner)
how to understand women?
And my answer is: yes I can.
I do take on private clients for online life coaching via email,
telephone and Skype / Gmail Video Chat, and I have successfully
taught men about understanding women & how women think – and
about how to get in touch with – and accept – their feminine
sides.
Fair warning, though: It can be quite a challenging and time
consuming process! (But so, so beneficial).
Sidebar 2:
Is Understanding MEN Something I Can Teach
Women?
Yes. I have done so many times, both 1-on-1, 1-on-2 with
couples, and 1-on-many in talks and lectures. Seeing as how I
have connected with and integrated my feminine sides while still
remaining very much a man, I am told that I am quite good at
this.
Sidebar 3:
Do I Coach and Teach Men, Women & Couples
on Sexuality, Too?
Yes, I do.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – End of Sidebars – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – –
What do Women Want?
I wish I could tell you that women want the same things that men
want, but we all know that is not true. Women do want the same
basic life successes and joys that men strive after, but how
women think of these things and define these things is quite
different from most men. .
Of course, every man wants different things and it is the same
for women. Yet, there are some basic things that everyone wants
like happiness, inner peace, freedom, wholeness, acceptance, and
true love. Understanding women is not a matter of learning that
they want to be happy, at peace, free, whole, accepted, and
loved, but of understanding what they think these things mean!
Knowing this is essential to understanding women
That's where the real difference is between men and women! Ask a
woman what she wants out of life and you typically get answers
like "I want to be happy." Most men leave it at that when in
fact they should be asking exactly what happiness is to that
particular woman.
So, here is your first lesson in how women think: they think in
details.
General ideas like wanting to be happy may satisfy the male
brain, but it isn't enough for a woman. She wants you to know
what happiness would mean for her so you can fulfill that.
Understanding girls requires you to be interested in the details
without dropping the ball once she gives a very basic answer.
A Woman's Instinct and Intuition
If there is one thing women have fine tuned, even in the modern
world, it is natural instinct, an intuition.
An example: If you have ever lived with a mother with small
children in the home, you know what this instinct is like. There
can be crying child down the hall one day and she completely
ignores it while the next day she jumps from the bed and runs as
if the cry that day is life threatening.
How does a mother know that the first cry was nothing to worry
about and the second one required immediate attention? Well, she
just does. It is natural. Intuitive. Instinctual.
That instinct carries over into relationships and all other
aspects of a woman's life. This is where many men struggle with
understanding women. Women will instinctively and intuitively
pick up on small details and make assumptions and judgments and
draw conclusions without saying a word. A lot of this
information is at a gut level and most women are not even aware
of it taking place most of the time.
Another Example of How Women Think
This instinct and intuition is why a man can go on a date and
believe there was a real connection, only to find that the woman
never wants to speak to him again. What went wrong?
In many cases, there was an instinctive sense in the woman that
things weren't going to work, or that there was something "off"
with the man. She may not even be able to explain it beyond
that.
When information comes from a woman's instinct or intuition, it
is difficult to put into words and explain. This is where the
disconnect often comes between men and women, making
understanding women a real challenge for men. Men simply can't
understand what is unspoken but all so natural inside the female
mind.
So, Is Understanding Women Impossible for a Man?
How do you know how women think … if they themselves don't
even know how they get the information that feeds their brains
and guides their actions and decisions? Well, like I said, it's
a challenge! 🙂 But it is doable.
If you want, you can learn to do the exact same thing they do,
and then you will know. Like I said in the beginning, that takes
some doing, some personal development, as you get in touch with
your inherent femininity and intuition.
If you want to go down this road you can take courses, of
course, but you might also simply ask a couple of trusted women
to start teaching you. That's what I did. As a matter of fact I
spent years doing that. And got pretty good at it, too.
I also worked specifically on strengthening my intuition – and
learning to trust it. I now use my intuition extensively – not
just for understanding women, but in everything I do.
However, if you're not really interested in that then probably
the best thing you can do is accept the fact that the female
mind works intuitively much of the time while the male mind
works logically much of the time.
So – just stop expecting stringent logic and accept the
difference. That will make understanding women – and your life –
much easier.
Understanding Women's Unspoken Needs
One obstacle to understanding girls at a young age is figuring
out their 'mind games' and why they want to play them.
Men tend to be straight forward most of the time. If they like a
girl they are ready to make a connection and see where it leads.
This is the same for young boys and adult men, but not
necessarily so for women.
When they see what they consider an attractive woman, most men
don't over think what may happen in the future, what could go
wrong, or if it's a match made in heaven. They are simply
intrigued into action.
Women function a bit differently. Interest in a man tends to be
driven by a sense of his ability to meet her deep seated needs.
Understanding Women: Women Scrutinize Men – With a Purpose
Many women want men to pick up on their unspoken needs and send
signals that they can handle them. In the woman's mind it is
more like a test, but to men it comes off as game playing.
Men would prefer to be directly told "I need a strong man who
can sense what I want, protect me, care for me, and take care of
a family." If that were to come out of a woman's mouth the man
could determine if he can meet those needs and either step up to
the plate or back away.
Yet, women don't speak these deep seated needs out loud. They go
the unspoken route of watching men in a variety of situations to
see how they naturally respond.
This is another lesson in understanding women: they put you
under a microscope. They are constantly collecting information
about what you do or don't do and what that says about your
ability to meet their needs.
Understanding Women: There Are No Rules, Only Intuition,
Tests & Adaptation
The problem is many men spend way too much time MENTALLY and
INTELLECTUALLY trying to determine what women want, what to say
in different circumstances, and what a woman wants to see or
hear.
Most of the time that won't work, because IT IS INFLEXIBLE and
NOT ATTUNED to the woman in the changing circumstances of life!
So forget that. Just forget it. There ARE NO SET RULES! You
CANNOT use your mind to figure out what goes on in a woman's
instincts and her intuition.
You are much better of if you just acknowledge that not all of a
woman's needs are going to be bluntly stated and that there are
going to be tests that you don't even know you are taking. Which
is okay. You don't need to worry about it.
Just be yourself and act out of sincerity and honesty. If you
are the right man for a particular woman, she will use her
intuition and instinct and all of those unspoken tests to pick
up on that. This is an extremely important lesson in
understanding women.
Understanding Women's Hearts
Here is one last tip on learning how to understand women:
everything in a relationship is connected to the heart, to love
and pure emotion.
As you are well aware, this is not necessarily the same for men.
This is why most men can have casual sexual relationships
without feeling any true emotions for their sex partner.
Women struggle with this since they connect via their emotions
and heart to most of their relationships – particularly their
sexual relationships.
When your attempts at understanding women leave you scratching
your head in complete confusion, it is likely because the woman
in your life is not following common sense or logic which guides
your own actions. She is likely following one of these things
that you aren't as in tune with:
– Instinct
– Intuition
– Knowledge gathered through observation
– Love
– Raw emotion
In some cases a woman may be reacting from something you did in
one odd moment without even realizing you were being observed.
Or, she may be responding from a gut level instinct that
something is off in the relationship or with you in particular.
Finally, there may be something emotional going on that she
hasn't felt comfortable revealing to you yet.
In other words: understanding women is complicated because they
have different levels of information than you have. If you can
LOVE, however, you are going to be all right.
When it comes to understanding
women love is the main key.
The ability to communicate (incl. talk about your feelings) that
so many women say they desire (and they do!) is actually
secondary. When it comes right down to it, your ability to feel
and express true love (perhaps even just wordlessly) is what
counts for most women. (We'll get back to that).
The Benefits of Instinct and Intuition
While intuition, instinct and emotion make understanding women
difficult for most men, it also has a benefit to men. Many women
can pick up when a man is struggling with something internally,
is stressed out, or when there are emotional shifts, or shifts
in the relationship.
This is why women will start to ask questions about how you are
feeling or what you are thinking even when you believe nothing
is wrong. They sometimes pick up on it before you yourself do!
There may very well be something going on that you aren't
mentally and logically aware of just yet. If you will just let
her, your woman will help you become aware of it.
If, on top of being able to feel and express love, you are able
to be open and honest with your thoughts and feelings, you can
actually benefit immensely – while at the same time making your
relationship much stronger.
So do communicate to the best of your ability – and take
advantage of the female intuition that so many women themselves
are benefitting form in their personal lives.
How Women Think: Emotions & Love = Logic
Finally, understanding women will be a lot easier if you start
giving more credit to emotions, particularly love.
Many men are uncomfortable with emotion so they value it far
less than intellectual reasoning and logic.
If understanding women is your goal, you will have to learn that
emotion IS logic for many women.
If you can tap into what emotions they may be experiencing, you
will be more successful figuring out the proper way to respond.
This will require you to push beyond basic logic much of the
time and the best way to do that is … yes, you've guessed it:
to feel love.
Using True Love for Understanding Women
When you feel true love (where you love for the sake of loving,
as opposed to needy love, where you love because the other
person fulfills your needs) towards another person you
automatically get in touch with that person. Love is the perfect
medium for communication, even without words.
Feel true love, and you will KNOW what is going on and
what to do.
Feeling true love IS understanding women!
How to experience true love? By letting go of any and all needs
you have that are connected to your partner. Accept that even if
she does happen to fulfill some of your needs, she certainly
doesn't have to, and you don't NEEED her to.
If you can do that, if you can feel (and show) true love, even
wordlessly, you've got it made, pretty much. 🙂
SUMMARY of Understanding Women: Figuring It All out
Okay, so you have learned that understanding girls is difficult
for very good reasons. Now how do you put it all together and
start figuring out how women think?
Well, by now, hopefully you are aware that you don't have to!
Women don't think the same way you do, but in fact that doesn't
matter all that much.
All you really have to do is be openly, honestly and
lovingly yourself.
But, this has been a long and involved self improvement article,
so just to recap and round it all up, here's a summary with a
few extra, final additions:
Women Think in Details
This is important because you, as a man, probably think more in
general terms. Those will not satisfy a woman. She wants it up
close and personal! Whereas you may tend to judge quite a few
things in, say, three general levels (good, neutral, and not
good) women have many, many more levels for just about
everything in life … and they change all the time!
Intuition, Grey Zones and Changing Circumstances
You can start understanding women more by simply remembering
that they may be operating off of information that is difficult
to put into words. Everything may be black and white in your
mind, but her mind has lots of gray. Situations in life vary all
the time, and many women are in sync with that – which means
that they do not follow set rules but are constantly being
flexibly attuned to circumstances.
You Could Choose to Integrate Your Feminine Aspects
This is often a long, challenging but also very giving process
with absolutely no downsides. And the women? They will love you
for it!
Understanding Women's Unspoken Needs
While women generally tend to communicate a lot and in much more
detail than men, there is one very important area where they
tend to stay quiet and evaluate instead: Judging the man's
ability to satisfy whatever needs they have. Don't let this
worry you too much. Just pay loving attention to the woman and
be yourself.
Being Openly and Honestly Yourself – and as
Communicative as You Can
Well, this headline speaks for itself. No further comments
necessary.
Detailed Analysis – You Can Do It, Too
Another thing you can do to start understanding women right now
is start to do the unspoken analysis and observation that you
now know women perform. Pay more attention to the small things
she does, the things she says or doesn't say, and question what
it means about her and what needs it could be pointing towards.
Get Help from Women for Understanding Women
This headline speaks pretty much for itself, too.
Don't Try to Learn All the Female Rules
Because when it comes right down to it … there aren't any! So
drop your mind in this respect and just be honest and sincere.
Benefit from the Female Instinct and Intuition
Since women tend to notice your problems, your stress and any
shifts that take place inside you, perhaps even before you
yourself do, then you might as well benefit from it by answering
their questions about how you feel, etc. and listening to what
they have to say in those areas. After all, it's totally free,
and the women will love you for it.
Accept That Emotions, Particularly Love, Equal Logic
Most women are much more driven by emotions than most men.
Accept it, and remember that the emotion of love is the ultimate
trump. Feel and show love, and you've pretty much got it made.
Feeling true love IS understanding women!
Love is the perfect communication's medium and when you feel
true love (as opposed to needy love) you KNOW all you need to
know!
In short: Understanding girls and women may be a challenge, but
it is not impossible. You can do it!
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