• Here is our collection of funny one line jokes – so much fun pressed into a single line, isn’t life sweet?
• On this page you will find success jokes, funny women jokes, prison jokes, mind jokes, wise jokes, funny ass jokes, funny animal jokes and idiot jokes.
• Now go, dig in, have fun!
Successful Funny One Liners
~ Success Jokes
– The road to success is always under construction.
– The only place where success comes before work is in the
dictionary.
– The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your
failures.
– Success always occurs in private and failure in full
view.
– If you worry about yesterday's failures, today's
successes will be few.
– Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the
lock.
Short Funny Jokes
About the Female Sex
~ Funny Women Jokes
– A woman can humiliate any man by simply saying "Hold my
purse."
– A good woman will do 70 chores around the house: Cooking
and 69.
– Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat
ones.
– A woman will be "Queen of the sewers" if she has
accessible manhole.
– Women are like convertibles. They're both more fun with
their top down.
– A woman is the only hunter who uses herself for bait.
– Women are like lawn mowers … If you're not pushing one
around, then you're riding it.
– Women are like dollar bills; hard to pickup, but worth
the effort.
– Women are like jazz music … 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag
time.
– What does an electric train toy and a woman's breasts
have in common? Both were intended for children but no one can
get dad's hands off either of them.
For more funny one line jokes on a similar topic see
Really Funny Short Jokes about Men and Their Stupidity on
the page Really Funny Short Jokes.
Doing Time With Funny Quick Jokes
~ Prison Jokes
– The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.
– Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in
them.
– In prison, the best way to separate the men from the
boys is with a crowbar.
– Putting a teenager in prison, won't stop his face from
breaking out.
– In prison you get three meals a day – at work you only
get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
– What did one Illinois prison inmate say to the other?
"The food was better when you were Governor."
For more funny one line jokes on at related topic see
Best Short Jokes Ever about Police and Thieves on the page
Best Short Jokes Ever.
Funny One Line Jokes
About Life Inside the Human Mind
~ Mind Jokes
– Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who
cares?
– Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let
out on its own.
– I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside
such a big head before.
– Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
– I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception
problem.
– Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
– The only perfect science is hindsight.
– Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
– Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
For more funny one line jokes on at related topic see
Best Short Jokes Ever That Will Blow Your Mind on the page
Best Short Jokes Ever or
Best One Line Jokes About the Confusing Life Inside the Human
Mind on the page Best One Line Jokes.
Funny One Liners That May or May Not Make You Wiser
~ Wise Jokes
– Asking a stupid question is better than repairing a
stupid mistake.
– If you open the door to a lesser evil, a greater one
will slink in after it.
– The greatest of all faults, is to be aware of none.
– If you can't be content with what you have received, be
thankful for what you have escaped.
– Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to
eat them.
– If you want to watch the world pass you by, try driving
the speed limit.
– The biggest room you have, is the room for improvement.
– Few things are harder to put up with than a good
example.
Short Hilarious Jokes … a Worthwhile Ass'et
~ Funny Ass Jokes
– Gay dinosaur is called Mega-sor-ass.
– A "smart ass" is someone who can sit on an ice cream
cone and tell you what flavour it is.
– There is one thing that all smart asses have in
common… "Wise Cracks!"
– What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses
ass? A Mechanic.
– What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky
is when you tickle your girlfriend's ass with a feather.
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken!
– A girl went into a doctor's office with a strawberry up
her ass, The doctor said: "I've got some cream for that."
Short Funny Jokes About Animals
~ Funny Animal Jokes
– When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
– When a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows,
there will be udder destruction.
– Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
– A giraffe's family reunion is called "necks of kin.
"
– To circumcise a whale, send down four skin divers.
– Dalmatians can't play hide and seek, because they are
always spotted.
– One cow spying on another cow is called a steak out.
– Dog may be man's best friend, but pussy not far behind.
– Cows without legs are ground beef
– What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you
breathe through that thing?
Hilarious Jokes About Fools
~ Idiot Jokes
– Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
– Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the
rear or a fool from any direction.
– A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper,
fire at one end, fool at the other.
– Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity!
– A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to
admire his work.
– It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than
to open your mouth and prove it
– Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone
going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster
than you is a maniac?
– Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the
world? He drowned.
Where Would You Like to Go Next?
Great Jokes
Short Funny Jokes
'Confucius Say' Jokes
Funny One Liners
Random funny jokes
Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes: Automotive
Humor at Its Best
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