Let funny Confucius quotes, jokes and sayings spice up your day … or so ‘Confucius say’ – he ‘say’ a lot by the way (read more about facts and rules for Confucius quotes here)
• So if we may, 'Quotescoop.com say' … please, enjoy
yourself … and have a nice day
Hilarious Confucius Quotes That Will Make You Go 'Nuts'
Confucius say: Baseball is wrong – man with four balls
cannot walk.
Confucius say: Man who gets kicked in testicles, left
holding bag.
Confucius say: A man with his hands in pockets feels
foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
Funny Confucius Sayings about Man and Woman
Confucius say: Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on
earth.
Confucius say: Man who read woman like book, prefer
braille!
Confucius say: He who let woman on top is fucking up.
Confucius say: Woman who goes to man's apartment for
snack, gets tit-bit.
Confucius say: Man with hard problem usually give it to
woman.
Confucius say: Man who dates dynamite lady, gets big bang
out of her.
Some Confucius Jokes all Ready to Flush
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!
Confucius say: House without toilet is uncanny.
Confucius say: Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have
shitty time.
Confucius say: Fly which rests on toilet seat gets pissed
off.
Confucius Quotes That Would Make Confucius Feel Right Back
at Home
Confucius say: Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confucius say: Gay man in Chinese restaurant will order
"sum yung guy".
Confucius say: Chinese couple who have white baby, name it
" Sum Ting Wong"
Confucius say: If you turn an oriental around, he become
disoriented.
Animalistic Confucius Jokes – Don't Take Pet
Confucius say: Man who throw a cat out car window, makes
kitty litter.
Confucius say: Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on
limp cock.
Confucius say: Hamsters which crawl into the wrong orifice
get shit-faced.
Confucius say: Squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man
lay on crack and rock nuts. Confucius say: Man who buy
drowned cat must pay for wet pussy.
Confucius Kiss-and-tell Jokes
Confucius say: Passionate kiss like spider's web soon lead
to undoing of fly.
Confucius say: Man who snatch kisses when young, kisses
snatches when old. s when old.
Confucius say: Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in
face. Confucius say: Girl who marry detective must kiss
dick.
Funny Confucius Quotes That Make You Face the Music
Confucius say: Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get
tone of A flat miner.
Confucius say: Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and
1/4 rag time.
And Now for Some Sharp Confucius jokes
Confucius say: Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
Confucius say: Man who sit on tack get point! get point!
Confucius say: Butcher who back into meat-grinder, get a
little behind in his orders.
Confucius say: He who has a sharp tongue cuts own throat.
Confucius' World of Make-believe
Confucius say: Man with hand in bush not necessarily
trimming shrubs.
Confucius say: Men who put cream in tart, not always a
baker.
Confucius say: Woman who go camping must beware of evil
intent.
Confucius say: Man who checks out woman's package, dosen't
always work for UPS.
Confucius say: When man bring wife flowers for no reason,
there usually reason.
Hilarious Confucius Quotes Heading for Trouble
Confucius say: He who stick head in open window get pane
in neck.
Confucius say: Man with head up ass, can't see for shit.
Confucius say: Man who mix Rogaine with Viagra will end up
hard headed.
Confucius say: He who places head in sand, will get kicked
in the end!
Rash Confucius Jokes
Confucius say: Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to
conclusion!
Confucius say: Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
Confucius say: Boy fool with girl in wrong period get
caught red handed.
Confucius say: He who pull out too fast leave rubber
behind.
Random Stuff from Funny Confucius
Confucius say: Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting
time.
Confucius say: Man who have circumcision lose a bit of
foresight.
Confucius say: Man who masturbate only screwing self.
Confucius say: Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of
things.
Confucius say: Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find
nuts.
Confucius say: Sex is like the army, the closer you are to
discharge, the better you feel.
Confucius say: He who thinks by the inch and talks by the
yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.
Confucius say: Man with one foot on 'yesterday' and one
foot on 'tomorrow' will end up pissing on 'today'.
Confucius say: Woman who come to bed wearing nothing but
running shoes, wants to have marathon session.
Confucius say: Prostitute who likes bondage is usually
strapped for cash.
Confucius say: A butler with no teeth is called an
in-dentured servant.
Confucius say: Man who give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach will "Abdicate".
Confucius say: Man who is impotent will have Willy-nilly.
Confucius say: Mummys who take vacation, will relax and
unwind.
Confucius say: Man who pamper his cow, will get spoiled
milk.
Confucius say: Woman who fall in love with elevator
operator, usually get the shaft.
Confucius say: Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.
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